to chevon, with love.

About nine years ago, I moved to Virginia with a teeny baby Ani and Ryan. It was his first military posting. I was excited to be able to stay at home with Ani while Ryan worked, to set up our first real home together, to get my new family started. What I wasn't prepared for was the utter homesickness that would sweep through me as I spent day after day couped up in our house, too shy and socially inept to go out and make friends with all of the other military mothers.

Then, after six months of being in Virginia and becoming steadily more isolated, Ryan and I bought a computer. Within a few weeks, I had discovered mommy chat boards and set up a parenting web-site of my own, "Proud Young Mommies". On this chat board, I met dozens of other moms who were like me - I met other young, scared to a certain extent about the task ahead of them raising their young babies, and needing a friend just as much as I did; I met other mommies that had already raised several kids and were full of advice, humorous anecdotes, and supportive; I met girls that would soon become my friends. We were there every morning to drink our coffee and laugh together. We were there every night for one last reassuring word or random story about our day.

I never expected to become true friends with women that I had never even met, but soon found soul mates among the dozens of screen-names and scanned photos. Years have passed since "Proud Young Mommies" began and, while I'm not active on that particular site anymore, I have remained in touch with several of those women. They were there for me through my divorce, through my first disasterous forays into dating, they were my should to cry on and my friendly face on a bad day. We add each other to any new social network we all join, we comment on pictures of our children as they grow, we keep in touch during the little moments in our lives and we are aware of all of those big moments as well.

Today, one of those women, a beautiful soul with four young children and a dedicated husband, has passed away from cancer. I didn't expect this news when I logged on today to check in with my friends for a few brief moments on my day off and see what was new in everyone lives. I should have been a little more prepared since she had been sick for some time, but I had decided to think only that she would get better and to not allow for another option in my mind. I turned away from the screen and cried after I read about it. Billiam, seeing my distress, came to find out what had transpired, put his arm around me, asked me only, "Who? And what can I do?. I started to explain to him that an online friend...I mean this girl I knew online ...and then all I could say was CHEVON because there was no need to explain how I knew her - I had simply known her. And for that, I'm grateful.